So I recently watched this programme called Strictly Soulmates on BBC and it was about finding partners in different religions. There were four episodes: Christian, Hindu, Muslim and Jewish. They were actually really good and it was quite interesting seeing how people find partners in other religions.
I knew about Hinduism and Islam obviously (the obvious one is Islam not Hinduism but in primary school/middle school we learnt a lot about Hinduism) and also culture comes into it.
People forget that there is a DIFFERENCE between an arranged marriage and a forced marriage.
A forced marriage is where you have no say in the matter and you’re just expected and FORCED to marry some random person you’ve never met or only seen once. That’s very old fashioned.
An arranged marriage is actually very common. Parents or family members (often called well wishers) find possible suitors. It helps if you have a criteria and usually these conversations are held over the phone then a meeting is set up etc. so you DO get to know the person. the arranged part is your parents help you FIND SOMEONE. Watching the show opened up to me how hard it actually is to find a religious partner.
But then when I spoke to my parents about getting married and finding someone they pointed out that these people are a few out of billions who DO manage to find somebody to love.
Not only for Muslims but people of all faiths. Where would you socialise?! Religious gatherings? Family gatherings? Weddings?
British culture means pubs and clubs. For that type of person. But do you really want your future husband/wife to be at a club gyrating with some stranger? Eeewwww!!!!!
Churches, temples, synagogues or mosques would be an easy place? Nope. Usually people are segregated and it’s a place of worship for quiet thought and reflection. Well, on some occasions it is for socialising.
But in Ramadan, the youths often gather after Taraweeh and hang out…the boys checking out the girls and vice versa. I don’t like that. I mean…you’re in a place of worship! When I went for Ummrah to Makkah (Mecca) and Madinah, I lowered my gaze. It’s hard because there are LOTS of people from ALL OVER the world but that’s not the time and place. Haha.
But for the Christians they had to go to religious festivals or other churches to find someone which is difficult. Also, I loved how the woman made it clear Jesus came first. Even though Jesus isn’t god but for me, God comes first. I don’t care if it’s my mother or my brother or husband or even neo. God always comes first. Why? He put me here. He created me. He blessed me with my lovely crazy family. That’s why there’s a thing called jihad. I will willingly give up my life for my Lord. I would me a martyr. I don’t want to have to die that way but if I have to then I will. I have nothing to be ashamed about for being a Muslim. I’m not the best person in the world but just think about it…on the Day of Judgement when you are standing before your Creator you are terrified…you won’t even know your own parents or anyone you’ll be the most selfish person and only thinking about all the things you could have done or said and why you didn’t. That day is probably the scariest day but it will come and we will have to pay for our sins and inshallah (if God wills) be rewarded for our good deeds. Ameen.
You know, God if All Merciful…we have 2 angels on our shoulders. One on our right and one on our left. The one on our right records all our good deeds and the one on our left records all the bad deeds. But when we commit a bad deed, the angel doesn’t want to put it down immediately so he waits to see if we repent. If we do then it’s not recorded. How amazing is that? Subahanallah.
If you (reading my blog) have ANY questions please feel free to ask and I shall try my best to answer them. I am not the best person to ask religious advice or questions but hey, it’s less intimidating then going to a religious scholar.
So anyway, you’re lucky if you manage to find someone in university who is religious and who loves you and God etc.
So yeah, perspective. I mean, it’s not easy to find someone who’s right for you but I think travelling is important. From psychology it says usually you marry people with similar attitudes, similar backgrounds etc but not necessarily.
A lot of my friends don’t want to marry someone from another culture. This is mainly to do with their families and prejudice but also, it is easier to marry someone from the same background because you tend to speak the same language and cook the same food so there’s no culture barrier. However, I don’t mind if I don’t marry a South African Muslim or someone descended from India.
If I love them, nothing else matters as long as they are religious or become religious (but not for me…because they WANT TO). Also it would be fun learning/adopting a new culture and integrating it with mine. New food and a new language. I really would love my children to be multilingual. JUST SAYING. Oh gosh imagine if my future husband actually reads my blog *cringe* oh wait Josh Hutcherson barely goes online so no. LOL.
Do people actually know the story of Cat Stevens (aka Yusuf Islam)?
“Another change came in the form of a near-death experience. Stevens had gone swimming at the house of Jerry Moss, his American record boss, at Malibu Beach, and after a half-hour could barely stay afloat in the perilous currents of the Pacific Ocean. He attempted to swim to land, but the sea was too strong. He realised he was going to drown and he called out to God. Miraculously the tide swiftly turned, a sudden wave lifted him and he swam easily back to shore.”
My mum was telling me the story of Noah (Nuh AS) again and how he warned people about the floods and he built a boat and people were like WTF are you doing you freak but he WARNED THEM and the thing about God is that his mercy is more than his wrath. He WANTS people to call out to him and beg for mercy and forgiveness. If only they said we believe we are sorry have mercy on us and save us. But no. they were arrogant. And it is man’s arrogance that leads to their demise.
This happens all the time in the stories of the Quran where the Prophets frequently warn their people about an oncoming disaster or something and they refuse to believe. Then they suffer the consequences.
I just watched Stacey Dooley-my hometown fanatics. This girl goes to Luton which is known for its extremist views. But people forget THE MINORITY MAKE THE MOST NOISE and so the media focuses on them.
It actually repulsed me at the stuff that some of the Muslims were saying. I mean Stacey was wearing this lovely orange maxi dress and this Muslim woman said ‘you look naked to me. Who are you trying to seduce?’ WTF? Who says that?
Everyone has the right to wear what they want. They should. Saudi Arabia and France are the same. Where Saudi Arabia forces everyone to wear the hijab and niqab, France BANS it. They are both telling people what they can and cannot wear when they have no right.
People forget practicing Jews also cover their hair. But they prefer to wear wigs. LOL.
And there is always a stigma against Jews and Muslims. It’s horrible. I mean possibly even Christians. In American TV shows you have to have a Jewish person and a fat kid and the token black kid. It’s just usually the case.
oh and i watched Make Bradford British or something which also shows how clearly misunderstood people are. there is still a lot of racism and unless people CARE ENOUGH TO TRY AND NOT BE IGNORANT it will still happen. because they were sharing stories and whatnot and this white dude was actually quite taken back by the experiences people faced and he realised that he does that with his friends…he is racist and they DON’T TREAT them as PEOPLE. it’s only until things are put into perspective do you realise. sigh. sometimes it’s to late then.
But I don’t see programmes where Muslims are represented accurately and nicely. They always have accents or are terrorists or whatever.
Maybe I should write a YA book about a Muslim girl. And get it OUT THERE IN THE REAL WORLD OF THE YA INDUSTRY not the Muslim book industry. I want people to know what Islam is about, to know how hard it is for Muslims to live in today’s society since 9/11 (which was devastating but there are much worse things going on). It hasn’t been easy for Muslims.
So yeah I have a story to tell but we’ll see. Maybe one day. Or I’ll just get my mum to write it. Haha. =P
For me, I am not a moderate/liberal/traditional Muslim. I am not a Sunni/Shia/Ahmedi/Ismaeli.
I am just a Muslim. Trying to find my place in this world.
My religion is important. I’m one of the lucky ones who grew up being a Muslim but of course you choose later on whether it means something to you. If I lived in South Africa it probably wouldn’t. But I live in London and I can see how important my religion is to me. Islam is a way of life. Without my religion I’d be nothing.
If I had to I’d give up books for my Lord but thankfully there is nothing haram about reading books. LOL. Well some radicals would say Harry Potter is haram. *gasp* SORCERY AND WITCHCRAFT. That’s utter bull****. I mean really it’s called FICTION. It is fun living in your head but you can’t always live there. Sigh.
Lol I digress…this post was supposed to be on soulmates and stuff but then I went into Islam. Sigh such a babble queen.
Anyhew, so yes I don’t actually believe in soulmates. I believe in love but that you CAN love more than one person. Think about it. There are many people who get married and are happy etc but then their partner dies and they are devastated. Yet they eventually move on and find someone else. And they are happy with them. And it is love. So it’s possible. God knows best.
I mean I watched The Vow and it was so cute because it was based on a true story and I was thinking OMG (SPOILER ALERT) if they don’t get together then it obviously wasn’t meant to be. Channing Tatum. *sigh*
‘If you love something set it free if it was meant to be it’ll come back to you.’ I fist read that quote in The Mediator Series by Meg Cabot when I was 11.
And it’s stuck with me ever since.
Also…in Cassandra Clare’s Mortal Instruments and Infernal Devices series she has a thing called Parabatai
‘Parabatai share each others powers and can feel a strong connection between them. They also share a part of their soul with each other.
Words of the Parabatai oath:
Wither thou goest, I will go;
Where thou diest, will I die
And there will I be buried:
The Angel do so to me, and more also,
if aught but death part thee and me’
So my friend Shelby and I…we are sisters from another mister. We met via Shelfari- yes the book website i know and we started emailing each other and then one day she came to London and we met up and it was the best thing ever. I swear when we first saw each other and hugged and started talking we actually did NOT stop talking for ages. And the rest of the world blurred out. We can talk about anything from the deepest thing about religion to making funny faces and saying how cute our cats are.
She is Christian and I love that her religion is so important to her. She’s not one of those who say ‘OMG YOU’RE NOT CHRISTIAN YOU’RE GOING TO HELL’ and I’m not one of those Muslims who go ‘omg you’re not Muslim you’re going to hell’ lol it doesn’t work like that. We both respect each other’s faiths but it’s more our morals and we are pretty much the same person but not really. If that makes any sense.
Yes we are parabatai or soulmates and we are such awesome freaks. Ah now I need to go to the US to see her but my dad is scared we’ll get deported.
Why? Because there were these two English guys who said they’re going to America and they’re gonna have a blast and it’s gonna be the bomb. These are slang terms for having a good time. But of course the government didn’t think so.
And this blog is full of politics. So is my tumblr. And twitter. And facebook.
And my dad works at some random Islamic school. So…it’s not looking so good. BUT I REALLY WOULD LOVE TO GO TO AMERICA.
Also I was listening to BBC Radio 4 women’s hour the other day and they were talking about how Saudi Arabia doesn’t have any female athletes and how the Olympic committee banned South Africa because of apartheid. What about banning Israel? Nooo they’d never do such a thing despite their crimes against humanity. Meh.
Pretty Little Liars: WHY DON’T THEY EVER CLOSE THEIR BLINDS/CURTAINS???!!! omg we’re gonna find out who A is soon. mwahahaha.
The Lying Game: Sutton is an utter biatch and she should have died. Ethan is such an asshole i mean really…WHY LIE?! this is WHY RELATIONSHIPS FAIL BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN’T HONEST.
Hart of Dixie: if Zoe and George end up together I refuse to watch the show any more.
New girl: SCHMIDT AND CECE ALL THE WAY
Revenge: omg they’re such trolls…making us believe such things and then BAM!!! Also…I just don’t get what is with people and breaking hearts and messing with love.
Vampire Dairies: i seriously hate Elena. What is so special about her? I like Caroline. She’s so badass and awesome. And I love Klaus and Elijah and Damon and Stefan. All bamfs.
Brit Awards: um…one direction won best British single? WTF. Oh wait people voted for that. Makes sense. But I mean Ed Sheeran and Adele were nominated so it’s like REALLY?! But I’m glad Ed Sheeran and Adele won a few other awards. Good for them.
basically…it’s March. meaning in just under 3 weeks I WOULD HAVE SEEN THE HUNGER GAMES.
Wow. So Josh Hutcherson tweeted about seeing the movie and he said it was amazing. Aww he is so adorable. I swear every time I see a poster of him or a picture of him or even just saying his name makes me happy. *sigh* I have issues. I mean I watched Little Manhattan again and it is so funny and cute but totally crap and you should only watch it if you love Josh Hutcherson.
I also watched Journey 2 Mysterious Island. I had to okay? I smiled throughout the whole movie at seeing Josh’s face. And when he rode the motorcycle in the beginning…*swoon* it was surprisingly funny…the Peck Pop of Love was HILARIOUSLY DISTURBING…but Josh’s reaction tot hat was just too funny. I don’t know what I’m going to be like when I finally see The Hunger Games.
March 1s was World Book Day and i was lucky enough to meet Malorie Blackman author of Noughts & Crosses. aww she’s lovely. i was kind of annoyed though that my school didn’t really do anything for World Book Day. hmph. but World Book Night is on April 23rd and in both the US and UK The Book Thief by Markus Zusak is one of the free books. YAY. my 2nd fave book. quite a few YA books are being given out in the US…so unfair.
so i’m studying addiction in psychology and thought i’d read Impulse by Ellen Hopkins. i love her books. so i’ve only read Crank, Glass and Impulse but her books are always so gripping and raw.
i just find her books so emotional and eye opening. for some, YA helps them get through tough times because it’s about people in similar situations to them so they know that they aren’t alone in what they’re going through. for others, it’s about escaping the pain of reality and delving into a world full of mythical problems (Percy Jackson) or someone else’s life who has their own problems. then there are some who read because they want to learn or because reading is just awesome. i read loads of books from a variety of genres. but i NEVER see myself as the character. and i do like to read about hardcore, disturbing experiences because it helps me UNDERSTAND what people might be going through etc. because FICTION IS BASED ON REALITY. this is why YA Saves Lives.
so next time someone disses Meg Cabot or says The Hunger Games is a rip off of Battle Royale. don’t high five them in the face with a chair, just smile and say well you never know, reading their books could have saved someone’s life or helped others to think about their situation and the future of the world. words have power. ‘sticks and stones make break my bones but words will never hurt me?’ wtf?! i cry in books. if someone swears at you why do you flinch? LANGUAGE IS POWERFUL. think before you speak and if you have nothing better to say then just stay silent.
on a more depressing note…Syria. Lord have mercy on us all. poor Syria. the world is ignoring them. i recently read an article about Marie Colvin (RIP) and Syria and what she saw and it just brought me to tears. the helplessness and suffering of the people. they haven’t seen light in days and they’re just drinking sugar water…and that’s not the only place in the world suffering. Palestine, Afghanistan, Pakistan, DRC, Zimbabwe…the media just loses interest and moves on to another story.
people are suffering all over the world even in our own countries. the gap between rich and poor is ever growing and it’s just really depressing. we’re just not being very sustainable and the future is looking ever so bleak. but hey i’m a REALIST not a cynic. ha.bet i had you fooled. =P
okay well more later. this week is International Women’s Day on Thursday (also the day i get my January exam results. eeekkk!).
have a lovely week!
All the best and May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favour
p.s London The Hunger Games premiere is at the 02 Arena on Wednesday 14th March and the World Premiere is in LA on 12th march. Yahoo will be live streaming it BUT because of the time difference it’ll be from 2am-5am in the UK. Meh. I’ll just watch it the next day.
pp.s also in case you’re wondering I KNOW that there are a lot of Hunger Games merchandise but all I need is the Mockingjay pin which thankfully I have. Although some of the t-shirts are really cool. But I will not be getting a Peeta Cardboard cut out or pillow case.
in case you missed it here’s the Safe and Sound music video and the newest Hunger Games clip with Katniss trying to impress the Gamemakers: